March 23. 2003

Midterms will exhaust yOU. But I'm fine for some reason LOL. ANYWAYS, LOL, after looking at my old high school notebook, I've found a song a wrote while I was a junior in high school. I think me and my friend made up a beat up for this, but never really did anything with it. SO , care to read d=]

Memory

Now I never thought I'll be doing this,
Knowing I'm Not used to this.
I never meant for it to be like this,
So this is how it's going to be, I'm sorry.
Please Listen..

We was two young teens, anxious to fall in love.
Holding hands, kissing, telling each other,
"Baby, you're all I'm thinking of"
I was Sixteen, You're fifteen.
A relationship was just what it seems.
Walking down the hallways at school,
People would be so jealous of us.
Look at them, There love is so lust.
But whatever they say, Nothing was better than us.
Seems if we were living a dream, everything marvelous.
And I knew you had doubts, But it was just the two of us.
I told you, take my hand and let me show you.
Let me be the one to hold you and grow with you.
You had your smile, But you believed my words.
And in your eyes, you found the perfect guy in this world.
Still you were negative, but i told you this is the plan,
Close your eyes, come forward and take my hand.
And let me show you.

Chorus( LOL I NEVER FINISHED THIS PART, sorry)

From, text messages to late night phone talks.
From walking in the winter cold, to summer beach walks.
And everything seems so perfect.
And everything you felt, i felted.
On a hot day, when you melt, I melted.
You had your insecurity,
But i was the first one you trusted.
Every fantasy you had, we did it.
Putting in hours, this relation was built to work.
And you wanted me, I wanted you.
You told me, "Boy, I want you to be my first"
We'll never forget that night.
While you were enjoying it, you said it hurt.
So I held you closer and everything was perfect.
I was your everything and i was the one you expect.
Every argument we'd had, we were able to talk it out.
Instead of ignoring each other, we stabled it out.
You had your doubts and I told you.
"baby take my hand and let me show you."

(Chorus)

We're looking back, look what two people had created.
Overcome everything, even when people hated.
Faithful to each other, a lover never cheated.
Just two people, when love is all we've ever need it
Now senior year, we was about to graduate.
Everything that seem so well,
Adoring each other in every way.
I'm off to Buffalo, You're off to California.
We promised to write letters,
I said "Baby, I'll missed ya"
We both new everything was going to change.
Our love was the chapter,
we didn't want to turn the page.
A relationship too good to be true.
And overtime, our friendship grew.
I became your best friend, You've became mine.
You was my art, i was your design.
We knew this was it, we knew we had little time.
Prom time, I was Your Prom date.
We danced all night, And stayed up late.
We're just two couple staring at the moonlight.
Telling each other, everything is going to be alright...

(Chorus)

I was your king, You were my queen.
Didn't let anyone or anything come in between.
Inside of me, I knew that i fell deeply in love.
I knew every time we kissed and hug.
But A friend ship so rare develop.
I fell in love with a friend,
I Knew our love , it was time to be up.
So i called you because we were heading off.
I sat you down and said " Baby, I love you
with every part of me, But"
She stopped me and kissed me.
She said " Please don't say it because
i don't believe its time"
"If you love me this much, don't let me go,
i don't want to pay this no mind"
I had to be strong and knew i done nothing wrong.
But I told her,
"I know you don't agree with me on this,
But it something you and I need this"
" I've been your first love, you've been mine
And it something , let course takes it time.
And If you love something, let it free and it comes
back to you, you know it's yours"
ANd i never met to say these lines of words.
But i can't help the fact, i have to let you go.
U will understand later, my feeling i can't let it show.
When you tear drops, I can't kiss it.
I'll let it drop, because knowing me, I'll miss it."
As i turned around and walked away,
I slowly came back and kissed her eyes.
I told her " Baby, this is my goodbye"

(chorus) fade...

Guys do stupid things, when he's head over heels over a girl..

I'll be the first one to tell you that, I believe there's always one girl that will get my attention. I think that's with all guys. There's always that one girl, who will make you do stupid things because you're trying to impress her. But, We forget to be ourselves and take it one step at a time. The feeling you get when you find someone whose different in every way and unique. It's like she's the only girl in color you see and the rest is in black and white. You brag to your friends and say " I finally found someone, whose surpasses every girl, I've ever met" But you messed it up by doing stupid things and rushing things, when everything should be taken slowly. When all you want is to see that gorgeous smile on her face everyday and you text them every morning and say "Have a wonderful day" You don't have to do it, but you do it anyways to show her you care.

Every minute you're thinking about her and just wondering what's she's doing. You try to play it safe and not think about her because you don't want to become obsessive. I mean, I guess the best way is try to relax and let time take it course. Even when you see her talking to another guy, you get a little jealous because you're afraid another guy is going to charm her away. You can avoid this by just being yourself. If the girl of your interest feels the same you do, she won't mind if the other guy is trying to talk to her and don't pay attention to that. If she likes you enough, she won't try to get with the other guy. The other guy is probably talking out of his ass. Remember, it's only conversation and it's not like she's going to sleep with him.

If you have a lame game and you can't charm her with your words, charm her with your personality. It's always a positive thing to have both by your side. Don't be such a fat ass and eat up everything. I mean you can, but work it off. Go out and run or go to the gym and burn the calories you just put in your body. Remember, girls want a guy whose fit, looks good and cares about his body and health.

Sometimes when you're so into that person, you forget all about sex. Yes guys, you forget all about sex. Yes you have two heads, but try to use your head up here and not down there. Listen to what she has to say and try to understand her words. Sometimes, we do very stupid things and at the end of it, we're wondering why we said it or why we did it.

God didn't make us perfect and for some reason, we'll never understand how a girl feels. We're not them but, the only thing we can do is try to relate to them. Don't get mad if a girl doesn't respond to your messages. If she's in to you, she'll respond. She does have her own life to take care of. Ms independent is what every guy want, so don't be so mad if she doesn't respond to you. Giver her time, keep busy and she'll respond sooner or later. The best part about all this, enjoy that feeling because its the most wonderful feeling, you'll ever have.

Those who messed up on their chances on someone they truly like, find a way to make her smile and talk to her as a friend. Girls want someone who they can feel comfortable with. Be her friend and get to know her. Yes we do stupid things and yes we're built to mess up every time, but we just need to learn from it. We do stupid things and say things because, we don't think. That's when you know she's SOMETHING.

Remember Fellas, We get one shot, Just one shot to leave a footprint. Mess it up and another shot is slim to none.
Good Luck Fellas

Hey I'm not perfect, I'm just an ordinary guy whose motive is to understand someone. I said things and rush them because i don' think sometimes.. Yes Im a guy. It's hard to get back to the way it was because of one mistake. You can say, this is what a girl makes you do, when you think about her a lot. I've learned, let a girl breathe, let time take it toll and let everything flow. Don't rush things. I know that now. As least I can say that I'm a man and I accept all my careless mistakes and hope that i make smarter decisions from now on. The hardest part is trying to understand someone and I know I'm not favored in this category. I know the odds are against me, but if i truly believe I can do it, I will do it.

THIS IS ME..

Hmmm... Sometimes i wonder about a lot of things. I know I stressed to be perfect and i know that I'm not even close to ever being perfect. I could say at this point in my life, this is where i want to be. I've been given opportunity to make things better than before and I'm taking advantage of it. I looked back at my life 5 years ago and it makes me think how i far i've come. After graduating from high school, i really didn't know what i want to do with my life. Didn't even know what i want to major in. I fucked up so much in college that it made me learn so much about myself. I hated myself a few years back and it took me a long time to even love myself. So fast forward till now. I'm 23 years old and about to turn 24 in about a month. Another year and a half and i'll be done with college and well thats when the real world begin. That's when my career path starts. I created this blog to free my mind about any thought. Why don't i just keep a journal? I do have one, but i spent half of the time on my laptop so, this is something to keep me on track. Follow me through, and read my thoughts about anything i write about. You can disagree about a lot of things, but it's me whose writing and letting my thoughts out. SO, here i go.